A Penny For Your Thoughts

*"A penny for your thoughts" has been a popular phrase for hundreds of years. Despite inflation a penny is still the going rate. And about how much most thoughts are worth. Just adding my two cents.

*Had my annual physical last week. The doctor said I could look forward to forty good years and one bad day.

*If you remove your jacket they say you are in "shirtsleeves." How does that make sense? You are in an entire shirt.

*People who have memorized all the state capitals are admired. Why?

*QUESTION: What do you call a cremated movie star? ANSWER: Burnt Reynolds. Too soon?

*I write jokes. Some of them are funny.

*Prices are now "price points." Free is "zero dollars." Someone is screwing with our language!

*ANSWER: Seinfeld. QUESTION: What do you say when a billboard tips over?

*Is bragging allowed at Humble Wine Bar?

*Now that newspaper obituaries contain pictures of the deceased I wonder why everyone is smiling. They just died, for God's sake!

*Every week I hike from my Lakewood home to one of the Great Lakes. So far it keeps being Lake Erie.

*"Chock-full-o-Nuts" is a terrible name for a coffee that contains no nuts. It would, however, be a pretty good name for our current House Of Representatives.

*Is there anything less necessary than golf scholarships?

*A Pennsylvania steakhouse chef was injured in a kitchen fire. His condition is listed as "Medium Well."

*I'm just like everyone else. I put my glasses on one eye at a time.

*Sidewalks in downtown Lakewood are too narrow. Or maybe it's just that pedestrians, dogs, walkers, rollaters, parking meters, bicycles, scooters, shopping carts, benches, utility poles, signs, fire hydrants, bike racks, skate boards, trash cans, wheelchairs, hoverboards, strollers, newspaper machines, and flower boxes are too wide.

*If this article hadn't been published in this issue of the Lakewood Observer, would there be a big blank space?

*Describe Lakewood, Ohio in two words: "Almost Perfect."

Jeff Fritz enjoys exercise, politics, economics, writing jokes and songs, and reading non-fiction.

Enjoy exercise, politics, economics, writing jokes and songs, reading non-fiction.